THE GREENHOUSE
Real Talk
Talking About Pregnancy Loss When Nobody Knows What to Say
Loss is common and still lonely, largely because so few people know how to talk about it.
June 20, 20266 min read
The silence is not protection
People stay quiet hoping not to upset you. The effect is that your loss becomes invisible, and you grieve something the world never acknowledged existed.
If you are the one grieving
You are allowed to tell people what you need. A short sentence works: I do not want advice, I just want you to know this happened. You are also allowed to say nothing at all for as long as you like.
If you love someone who is grieving
Say the simple things. Avoid the reasons.
- I am so sorry. I am here.
- Do you want to tell me about them?
- I am bringing dinner Thursday, no need to reply.
- Not: at least you know you can get pregnant
- Not: everything happens for a reason
Grief has no schedule
Due dates, anniversaries, and other people's announcements can reopen it years later. That is not going backwards. That is love with nowhere to land.
Plant this thought
Love that had nowhere to land is still love. Say the name out loud.
KEEP GROWING
Where would you like to go next?
Your Greenhouse reading can be the beginning of something deeper. Explore another part of the garden that meets you where you are.
A circle that will sit with you
The Loss Circle is a tender, moderated space for grief that has nowhere else to go.
Open the Loss CircleFlè Lavi shares gentle education, not medical advice. Please speak with your own provider about anything that concerns you.
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FROM THE GREENHOUSE
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