Postpartum Sex, An Honest Guide to the First Year

Six weeks is not a starting gun

Being physically cleared means tissue has healed enough to be safe. It says nothing about whether you feel ready. Many women are not ready for months, and that is well within normal.

If it hurts

Pain is information, not something to push through. Dryness, scar tissue from tearing or a caesarean, and a pelvic floor that is holding tension are the usual causes, and all three are treatable. Persistent pain deserves a pelvic health physiotherapist, not endurance.

Rebuilding slowly

• Start with closeness that has no destination
• Choose a time you are not exhausted, which may not be night
• Use lubricant every time in the early months
• Agree in advance that stopping is always allowed

Fear is part of it

Fear of pain, of another pregnancy, of your body feeling unfamiliar. Say these out loud. Fear kept private grows; fear spoken usually shrinks.